A part of who I want to be...

I was doing well keeping up with the blog until recently, but I finally have a worthy excuse. My grandmother, my Busia, died Sunday, never having fully recovered from a stroke a little over 2 years ago.

93. 93 years she was here. Amazing. 90 of those years were witness to so much love and life around her. Let me tell you a little.

She married the love of her life, Frank (who preceded her in death in 1989) and had 7 children. She stayed home and raised her family in the true Polish-Catholic tradition. She even prayed in Polish. She lived to see 15 grandchildren produce 26 great-grandchildren (and 2 more were on the way).

Although she was beautiful, she didn't care about her appearance. And the only thing she cared about weight, was putting some on everyone who came into her home as she was a fantastic cook (the reason we are not allowed to buy store made paczis). She didn't care about politics. She didn't care about the ills of the world, because the ills of her home, her family came first.

This simple, little Polish woman, who was so strong in faith and love was never known by me in the way that I am writing about her until now.

She loved. That was her life.

She lost her husband to cancer after 51 years of marriage, and it wasn't perfect, but it was love.

So, I am learning something as I write to you about where I have been. I am learning that I can care about things, but they shouldn't be my concern. Love. That should come first.

Beauty. Weight. Politics. We focus and concern ourselves on so much sometimes other than the things that we might miss if we don't stop to just do what comes easiest and the most natural.

Just love.

So, in tribute the grandmother that I wish I would have been closer to and understood before she left this earth...I will begin to fight for her cause...Wake up every morning and be happy with yourself because you love and are loved.

And I mean it this time...

We thought Joe'l was coming at the end of February, but it turns out that it is going to make more sense for him to stay in Fresno for a little while longer. It is really difficult for us, but we are working really hard at keeping this love-thang going. I know we will be okay...it just sucks to have to be apart from one another. For those of you who have a loved one close, remember daily how precious that is.

In the meantime...we have planned for me to come out March 30 and stay until April 7. By that time we should know better as to when the move will happen, but hey...we're still getting married August 4 so I know we'll be together then!

Also in the meantime...and I mean it this time...I need to keep myself occupied with exercise so I don't go crazy waiting another 6 weeks to be with him. Good plan.

So...I bought this...

The glider doo-hickey...not the dude (Tony Little) riding it.

And I bought these...

and I bought this, too...

(I have a membership at the gym, but because of my schedule at UT and work and Mads' schedule...I haven't been going. It is really difficult to get there.)

I need to improve myself, and I want to give Joe'l something, too. A me who is healthier and happier.

OH MY GOSH...I ALMOST FORGOT...I am going for a make-over (hair color and style) at a premiere salon in our area. The stylist specializes in short hair, so we'll see what I look like. I will post before and after pics.

Friends...I need your kind words. I am in a bad spot, but I am trying to make the best of it.

I miss him.

And I mean that every time.

A Blizzard Warning remains in effect for all Northwest Ohio counties

In case some of you were wondering why it may seem like I have a lot of TIME on my hands (as my myspace would seem to suggest)...I DO!

We are under a bit of a "Blizzard Warning." Although we are only supposed to accumulate about 14" of snow, it is the other conditions that are qualifying us for blizzard distinction. The wind gusts are blowing up to 5' snow drifts and visibility is zero in many areas. Driving during a snow emergency will get you a ticket.

Luckily, Mads and I shoveled out once earlier before the level of emergency increased to the point of not being able to be out on the road and went to the grocery store and to the library. Since I have already read the books I need to read for UT and Mads is going stir crazy, we are eating, reading, watching TV, and of course, I am building my myspace.

Myspace has been great fun--especially since I have found the myspaces of some people that I particularly have enjoyed. I am not going to leave names here, but I found a few in particular that had me laughing at the hidden side of people that is revealed when they think no one is looking. Or, there are the ones that KNOW people are looking (like their children) and put pictures of their boobies on them.

It has been a great learning experience for Mads. Hey...if ya can't be at school learning...ya might as well be at home with your mother laughing at other people.

Oh well...I will be home if anyone feels like talking.

We are the champions!

Yes, Yes...Those ARE trophies you see in their hands!

PS...I now have a myspace.

I wanted to be like everyone else.

www.myspace.com/harpsligh

Wish us LUCK...the good kind!

Mads and the rest of the team that I coach are playing for the championship game Saturday!

Why? From Payton to Peyton

Why is it that, as a fan of a sport I have never played, a fan of a team that plays in a city in which I do not live, I am so affected by this team's loss in the Super Bowl?

The only thing that makes it a little easier is that the loss comes to a coach, Tony Dungy, and a quarterback, Peyton Manning, who seem to have the utmost integrity and character. I would have cheered them on had they not been playing Chicago. So, good for them.

But, back to the original question...which I can only attempt to answer for myself.

When I was 10 years old and still questioning why my father spent so much time watching footall, I was introduced, if only by media, to people that were larger than life, but connected to football. Brian Piccolo and Walter Payton.

I didn't fall in love with football and I didn't understand the heart of an athlete until Brian Piccolo and Walter Payton. Tonight's loss hurts because 23 years ago the Bears' jersey was what I connected with my initial conceptualization of who and what I wanted to be as a person and an athlete.

There has been a short string of other athletes that have shown me how to play and live to celebrate character, integrity, ethics, family, but few like those I was introduced to when I was 10.

...Luckily, what I learned to be the heart of an athlete is reflected in the man who did lead his team to victory tonight. Even though the Bears lost, what I learned from Walter Payton at 10, I see carried out in one of the few, Peyton Manning, today.

Now...what about Rex Grossman...

A whole other blog!

Home Sweet Home

I moved!

I am in a house on an acre in a nice wooded area about 2 miles from my parents' house. I would take pictures, but we're covered in snow so it wouldn't do it much justice. It is QUIET! I love it. The first 6 months here were really difficult. This will be difficult financially, but the peace of mind has already been worth the financial struggle. Mads and I were in the kitchen tonight grilling portobella mushrooms and making sesame thai noodles...it was great. Our first meal here as a matter of fact.

Joel is coming! I have about 30 days to wait, but I think I can manage. Yeah! I have been busy working on creating a home that he can come "home" to. You know...get all the grunt work done so we can just be together...not to mention, he has his own grunt work to get out here!

Mads' basketball team (the one I happpen to be coaching) is playing in the championship game this coming Saturday! She has gotten so good. I think she is now in fourth grade where I was in seventh grade. She has matured so much. It is amazing. I have video, but I don't know how to upload videos. I need to learn!

I know I am not leaving much here anymore accept updates about what's going on with me, but that is about all I have time for.

:)

See yas!