Hey...Anyone miss me?
Wow...what a couple of frustrating weeks it's been without internet access at home and without having access to almost everything at work because it's blocked by a web-filter.
We now have access to the internet :) yeah...and I am sitting here thinking "Hmmm...what the heck is there to write about?"
Jese...Becky and Jay had to get engaged and make it so everything anyone could write about just seems so...well...unimportant. :) I don't think I have ever been so excited for any two people to get married (well, other than me but we're not talking about me...yet)! Jay... you are the man! Beck... it is sooooo good to hear you happy! You both deserve ginormously wonderful things!
OK...now me.
And this is where I am stumped.
Let's try this...
I need to figure out how to slow down. Teaching high school senior English is a bit taxing the way I do it. Even though I don't want to be one of those teachers who goes in at 7:30 and leaves at 3:15 (contracted hours) sometimes I do wonder what it would be like. How do those teachers detach themselves? How do they leave the workplace behind them and go home to their families without the weight of 100+ other lives on their minds? How do they go and do and live without papers to grade, lessons to plan, strategies to review.
I am afraid to get old in this profession. So much of my life is defined by the school and the classroom. I don't really know who I am without it. It's not just teacher (which I can't even tell you the connotation of the word teacher and the expectations of what that means to the individual). It is all of the other hats a teacher wears and then some. If I only worked my contractual hours WHAT WOULD I DO with all that TIME?
Write a book. Go to the gym. Dance in the living room with my kid for no reason. Laugh ridiculously. Go for a walk. See a movie...
I would do all of that WITHOUT guilt! I actually feel guilty when I am doing something for myself because I could be doing something to keep myself caught up with work and the OTHER PEOPLE'S kids.
Where is the balance? How do I balance my life and the expectations of everything attached to "teacher"?
By the way... to answer the question, "anyone miss me?"...
Yeah... I do.
posted by Rebecca at
10:50 AM
4 Comments:
I miss you i miss you!
I feel the same way every day too. I don't think I would know who I am without teaching. I find so much identity in teaching and working with the students I do. I don't think there is anything bad about it. I think I'm a pretty successful teacher because I find my identity in my work.
You are an amazing teacher, who impatcs many students. ust think of those that let you know they've influenced you and then double even triple that and that's all who you are affecting.
Love it own it, and be it!
Love you!
10:29 AM
Good to have you back. Sorry we haven't been able to match anything up here in town. I'll keep sending you invites and we'll get something together soon.
5:24 PM
I totally understand what you are saying, and your post so caught me today. I left to get Emily after work at about 3:30. I had been at school since before seven, but had a tremendous headache. The entire time I was driving home I felt so guilty that I didn't spend that extra time I think was needed to prep for tomorrow. It's done, and planned, but not the way I do it. Just like you said, "teach the way I teach." SOme people just don't get it.
I'm glad I have friends like you and Stig who do. And a husband who understands me when I explain those things to him. I think others may think I am neurotic.
When you take away the staff meetings, gossipy colleagues, and paperwork, isn't it so rewarding? I love my job.
6:48 PM
try your hand at college. i can get you a part time gig at a small jc. eventually, it could be full time. but, i do my bit, get in, get out. not that i don't work outside of the class, but it's definitely a lighter load.
of course, you'll sacrifice some salary and benefits in exchange.
7:29 PM
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