"The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says, but rather to what he does not say." --Kahlil Gibran

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I Wonder Why...

Recently, my daughter and I decided to have her get her hair cut so it would be healthier. She had had some chemical processing on her hair which left it very dry and brittle in certain areas. There were other reasons, but we decided to cut it down to the natural growth. Her hair is about 3 inches long.

Children seem to be letting her know lately that they don't like it, as well as using it as a means of making fun of her.

She is 8 (soon to be 9 on February 17th). She is a beautiful little girl. Other than now being mistaken for a boy, which she is okay with because she says, "it's an honest mistake," she has now had to endure comments such as, "Hey, it's Afro-Girl!" or most recently, "Hey, why don't you get a pick and go home and pick your fro." And although it has nothing to do with her hair, I think my favorite one so far is the little boy at her school who was telling the kids on the playground that Madissen looked pregnant. Yes, child, my little girl who has a pot-belly BECAUSE SHE'S 8 looks pregnant.

Glad to see things haven't changed since I was a little girl with a significant weight problem.

The saddest thing is that I can't stop it. Children will continue to pick on other children, but I will never understand why children or adults think it is okay to go up to a person and blatantly try to hurt his/her feelings.

Madissen and I went the other day to get manicures, and although she said she gets that these kids are just mean-hearted, I could still see that it hurts her, and that makes me so angry.

What is ironic is that my 8 year old is much more mature about it than I am. I am looking to have a little chit-chat with the parents of these kids and see how they like it to be picked on as you see, I have learned a thing or two about hurting people with derogatory comments. I have also learned a thing or two about hurting people other ways, too. Madissen assures me that that won't solve anything.

I disagree. A good defense is the best offense.

But I am left with repairing my daughter's self-image. I don't see things changing any time soon.

(I did however join her in the cutting off of the hair...except mine may be about 2 inches long... guess those kids can tease me now, too!)

3 Comments:

Blogger Adam said...

Wow, that is short, for both of you. Haven't seen you in a while. You need to get out with your short hair and show the world.

8:24 PM

 
Blogger Unknown said...

I read your post, and I totally feel for you. I wasn't always the hepcat I am today. I was mocked SO much growing up. I still have scars.

--deep cleansing breath, and straight into party plug--

Vegas, fools. It's on. Comment on my post about dates, times, etc. Or call/text/pigeon me.

Vegas.

2:27 PM

 
Blogger edluv said...

yeah, i don't know why people go out of their way to say mean stuff. i understand that people mock each other, stuff that is different, and so on. but why? and do we ever move out of it?

i don't know if we do. we just learn to do it behind their back, or in other formats.

10:34 AM

 

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